AlamoPA Mailing List: The Morning News....

[Bob Heiser (w7ikt]

 8:00AM - I made a snow man.

 8:10AM - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

 8:15AM - So, I made a snow woman.

 8:17AM - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

 8:20AM - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and moaned it could have been two snow men instead.

 8:22AM - The transgender man..women...person asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable and interchangeable parts.

 8:25AM - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food and not to decorate snow figures with.

 8:28AM - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

 8:31AM - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snow woman be covered up.

 8:40AM - The police SWAT team arrived in full riot gear saying someone had been offended.

 8:42AM - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic role.

 8:43AM - The City Council Equality Officer arrived and threatened me with eviction.

 8:45AM - TV news crew from ABC, CBS, NBC and CNN showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

 9:00AM - I was on the news as a suspected Nazi, terrorist, racist, homophobic sensibility offender bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

 9:10AM - I was asked if I had any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

 9:20AM - Students from the local community college arrived and demanded I provide them a safe space equipped with with hot chocolate, cookies and coloring books.

 9:30AM - Far left protesters bussed in by George Soros marched down the street demanding for me to be arrested.

 9:35AM - Native American activists showed up with a drumming circle because snow people were symbols of non-indigenous European colonialism.

 9:40AM - A Black Lives Matter mob arrived and attempted to tear down my snow men because they felt it celebrated white supremacy and white privilege.

 9:45AM - Feminists in pink pussy hats organized a bra-burning protest and a sanitary napkin bonfire out on the sidewalk.

 10:50AM - The local Roman Catholic Bishop sent out a letter blaming me for starting it all because of my pathological hatred for my fellow human beings.

 11:00AM - Gillette ran a commercial in all nationwide new media channels decrying my toxic masculinity.

 11:30AM - The United Nations Security Council denounced Israel and passed a resolution in support of Hamas attacks against Jewish snow men.

 11:40AM - Senator Elizabeth Warren announced her candidacy for the office of President of the United States because her DNA shows she is 99.999023438% snow person.

 12:00 Noon - The Nobel Committee awarded the Peace Prize to Democrat Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib for calling my snow man a 'Motherfucker.'


 Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is what we have become - all because of snowflakes.