DIVORCE
AGREEMENT-- WRITTEN BY YOUNG COLLEGE LAW STUDENT
The person who wrote this is a college student. Perhaps
there is hope for us after all.
THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S
BY A YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!!
WHATEVER HE RUNS FOR, I'LL VOTE FOR HIM.
Dear
American liberals, leftists, social progressives,
socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al: We have
stuck together since the late 1950's for the sake of the
kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made
me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each
other for many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.
Our
two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever
agree on what is right for us all, so let's just end it on
friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to
irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here
is our separation agreement:
--Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by
landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the
difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a
friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly
divide other assets since both sides have such distinct
and disparate tastes.
--We
don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military.
--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal
mines, and you can go with wind, solar and biodiesel.
--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell.
You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel
vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations,
pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers,
food stamps, homeless, homeboys, hippies, druggies and
illegal aliens.
--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and
rednecks.
--We'll keep Bill O'Reilly, and Bibles and give you NBC
and Hollywood .
--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll
retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten
us.
--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our
allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help
provide them security.
--We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism,
political correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also
have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.
--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks and oversized luxury
cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any
practicing doctors.
--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The
National Anthem."
--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd
Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya" or "We Are
the World".
--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can
continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history,
our name and our flag.
Would
you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other
like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you
do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly
parting, I'll bet you might think about which one of us
will need whose help in 15 years.
Sincerely,
John J. Wall
Law Student and an American
P.S.
Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin &
Charlie Sheen, Barbara Streisand, &
( Hanoi ) Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S.
And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call
our country.
Forward This Every Time You Get It ! Let's Keep This
Going, Maybe Some Of It Will Start Sinking In!!
--
God Bless,
Bob (W7IKT) & Carol (N5CBQ) Heiser
Shaving the way to Conquer Kid's Cancer
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