AlamoPA Mailing List: Fw: Stuff

[Sallie Carlson (wacsc11945]

----- Forwarded Message -----

From: Robert Ahrenkiel <gp-bob11 [at] att.net>

Sent: Friday, May 13, 2022, 09:26:38 AM CDT

Subject: Fw: Stuff

During this Covid era a little chuckle helps.  Luv 2 yu-all. 

Subject: Re: Stuff

I never thought orthopedic shoes would really work for me.

 But I stand corrected.

 

Once upon a time there was a king who was only 12 inches tall.

He was a terrible king but he made a great ruler.

 

A Mexican magician said he will disappear on the count of 3. 

He says: "Uno, dos..." Poof.

He disappeared without a tres.

 

I wrote a book on how to fall down the stairs.

It's a step by step guide.

 

My son was chewing on electric cords, so I had to ground him.

It's OK, though. He's doing better and conducting himself properly.

 

My friend claims that he "accidently" glued himself to his autobiography, but I don't believe him.

But that his story and he's sticking to it.

 

An armed man ran into a real estate agency and shouted:

"Nobody move."

 

Got drunk yesterday and threw up in the elevator on my way back home.

It was disgusting on so many levels.

 

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?

For Hispanic attacks.

 

I asked the surgeon if I could administer my own anesthetic. 

He said: "Sure. Knock yourself out!"

 

I got into a fight today with 1,3,5,7 and 9.

The odds were really against me.

 

In Britain it's called a lift but Americans call it an elevator.

I guess we were just raised differently

 

97% of people are stupid

Glad I'm in the other 5%

 

AND FINALLY

 

I have 2 unwritten rules:

        1.______

        2.______