AlamoPA Mailing List: Fwd: Today's Wisdom

[M.J. Trebenskie (skie999]

TODAY'S WISDOM.....................

 

 IF MY BODY IS EVER FOUND ON A "JOGGING" TRAIL, JUST KNOW THAT I WAS MURDERED SOMEWHERE ELSE AND DUMPED THERE.

*    RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.  THEY GRADUATED FROM SCHOOL WITHOUT THE INTERNET. 

*    I'VE DECIDED I'M NOT OLD,  I'M 25 -- PLUS SHIPPING AND HANDLING. 

*    WHY DO I HAVE TO PRESS "1" FOR ENGLISH?  DID AMERICA MOVE? 

*     WE HAVE ENOUGH GUN CONTROL.  WHAT WE NEED IS IDIOT CONTROL. 

*      BEHIND EVERY ANGRY WOMAN STANDS A MAN WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY  NO IDEA WHAT HE DID WRONG. 

*    LET'S STOP SENDING MONEY TO OTHER COUNTRIES AND LET THEM HATE US FOR FREE. 

*    VEGETARIAN:  ANCIENT TRIBAL NAME FOR THE VILLAGE IDIOT WHO CAN'T HUNT, FISH, OR LIGHT FIRES! 

*    I LOOK AT PEOPLE AND SOMETIMES THINK "REALLY"?  -- THAT'S THE SPERM THAT WON?" 

*    IN MY DEFENSE, I WAS LEFT UNSUPERVISED. 

*    IF GUNS KILL PEOPLE, THEN PENCILS MISSPELL WORDS, CARS MAKE PEOPLE DRIVE DRUNK, AND SPOONS MAKE PEOPLE FAT. 

*    MY DECISION-MAKING SKILLS CLOSELY RESEMBLE THOSE OF A SQUIRREL WHEN CROSSING THE ROAD. 

*    SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER LEFT UNSAID -- AND I USUALLY REALIZE IT RIGHT AFTER I SAY THEM. 


*    CAMPING: WHERE YOU SPEND A SMALL FORTUNE TO LIVE LIKE A HOMELESS PERSON. 

*    I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT GETTING OLD WOULD TAKE LONGER. 

*   A WISE MAN ONCE SAID - - NOTHING.

 

 

 

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mjt