AlamoPA Mailing List: Fw: When you're over seventy who cares?

[Sallie Carlson (wacsc11945]

----- Forwarded Message -----

From: Robert Ahrenkiel <gp-bob11 [at] att.net>

Sent: Thursday, September 26, 2019, 7:24:05 PM CDT

Subject: Fw: When you're over seventy who cares?

 

Look what you have to look forward to - from a man's perspective ...

 

When you're over seventy ........who cares?
   
  I was standing at the bar at the VFW one night minding my own
business.
  
This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and
said, "You're kinda cute. You gotta phone
number?"
  I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
 
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
 
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer
misses you."

Cost  me 6 stitches...but,

 
When you’re over seventy..............who
cares?
 
 
I went to the drug store and told the clerk "Give me 3
packets of condoms, please."
 
Lady Clerk:  "Do you need a paper bag with that,
sir?”
  I said "Nah... She's purty good 
lookin'....."
 
When you’re over seventy..............who
cares?
 
 
I was talking to a young woman in the VFW last
night.

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got
your hair cut, you'd look all right.”
 
I said, “If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends
over there instead of you.”
 
Cost me a fat lip, but...
 
When you’re over seventy..............who
cares?
 
was telling a woman in the Club about my ability to guess
what day a woman was born just by feeling her
breasts.

"Really"
  she said, "Go on then...try."

After about thirty seconds of fondling she began to lose patience
and said, "Come on, what day was I born?"

I said, "Yesterday."

 
Cost me a kick in the nuts, but...
 
When you’re over seventy...............who
cares?
 
got caught taking a pee in the swimming pool today. The
lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

 
When you’re over seventy...............who
cares?
 
 
  went to our VFW last night and saw a BIG woman dancing on a
table.

I said, "Good legs."
 
The girl giggled and said, "Do you really think
so?"

 
I said, "Definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by
now."
 
Cost me 6 more stitches, but...

 
When you’re over seventy.............who
cares?

"Count your life by smiles,
not tears, count your age by friends, not years, and
remember we do not quit playing because we grow old.... we
grow old because we quit playing"
 
 
"There are no traffic jams along the extra mile ."
Roger Staubach