AlamoPA Mailing List: Fw: Fwd: THINGS I FOUND OUT BY MOVING TO THE SOUTH

[Sallie Carlson (wacsc11945]

----- Forwarded Message -----

From: Robert Ahrenkiel <gp-bob11 [at] att.net>

Sent: Wednesday, August 23, 2017, 1:24:59 AM CDT

Subject: Fw: Fwd: THINGS I FOUND OUT BY MOVING TO THE SOUTH

 

... LIVING IN THE SOUTH

 

THINGS I FOUND OUT BY 

MOVING TO THE SOUTH 

AT A RELATIVELY YOUNG AGE:

 

A possum is a flat animal that sleeps 

in the middle of the road.

 

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

 

There are 10,000 types of spiders.

All 10,000 of them 

live in the South,

plus a couple 

no one's seen before.

 

If it grows, it'll stick ya.

If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

 

Onced and Twiced are words.

 

It is not a shopping cart,

it's a buggy!

 

"Jawl-P?" means, 

Did you go to the bathroom

 so we can get in the car to leave?

 

People actually grow,

eat and like okra. And, I'm one of 'em! 

 

"Fixinto" is one word. It means

I'm going to do that

 

There is no such thing as lunch.

There is only dinner and 

then there's supper.

 

Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals and

you start drinking it when you're two.

We like a little tea with our sugar.

It is referred to as the 

Wine of the South.

 

"I know you backwards and forwards" 

means 

I know everything about you.

 

The word "jeet" is actually 

a question meaning,

'Have you eaten?'

Some folks ask it like this:

"Jeet yet?"

 

You don't have to wear a watch, because 

it doesn't matter what time it is, 

you work until you're done 

or it's too dark to see.

 

You don't PUSH buttons, 

you MASH 'em.

 

"Y'all" is singular. 

"All y'all" is plural.

 

All the festivals across the state 

are named after 

a fruit, vegetable, grain, 

insect or animal.

 

You carry jumper cables –

for your OWN car.

 

You only own five spices: salt, pepper,

mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.

 

The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

 

Everyone you meet is a "Honey," "Sugar," or "Sweetie" 

or Miss(first name) 

or Mr.(first name)

Like, I'm married to "Miss Patty!"

 

A lot of folks think that 

the first day of deer season is a

national holiday.

 

You just come to know what a "hissy fit" is ...

and you keep your distance from one ...

or, you just pitch one yourself!

 

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

 

You think you don't need no dang Driver's Ed. 

If your mama says you can drive, 

we can drive!!!

 

You understand these jokes and forward them to your 

Southern friends 

and those other friends who just 

wish they were from the SOUTH.

 

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