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If
you ever feel
a little bit
stupid, just
up and read
this again;
you'll begin
to think
you're a
genius.
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(On
September 17,
1994,
Alabama's
Heather
Whitestone was
selected as
Miss America
1995.)
Question:
If you could
live forever,
would you and
why?
Answer:
"I would not
live forever,
because we
should not
live forever,
because if we
were supposed
to live
forever, then
we would live
forever, but
we cannot live
forever, which
is why I would
not live
forever,"
--Miss
Alabama in the
1994 Miss USA
contest.
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"Whenever
I watch TV and
see those poor
starving kids
all over the
world, I can't
help but cry.
I mean I'd
love to be
skinny like
that, but not
with all those
flies and
death and
stuff."
--Mariah
Carey
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"Smoking
kills. If
you're killed,
you've lost a
very important
part of your
life,"
--
Brooke
Shields,
during an
interview to
become
spokesperson
for federal
anti-smoking
campaign
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"I've
never had
major knee
surgery on any
other part of
my body,"
--Winston
Bennett,
University of
Kentucky
basketball
forward.
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"Outside
of the
killings,
Washington has
one of the
lowest crime
rates in the
country,"
--Mayor
Marion Barry,
Washington ,
DC .
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"That
lowdown
scoundrel
deserves to be
kicked to
death by a
jackass, and
I'm just the
one to do it,"
--A
congressional
candidate in
Texas ..
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"Half
this game is
ninety percent
mental."
--Philadelphia
Phillies
manager, Danny
Ozark
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"It
isn't
pollution
that's harming
the
environment.
It's the
impurities in
our air and
water that are
doing it.."
--Al
Gore, Vice
President
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"I
love
California . I
practically
grew up in
Phoenix .."
--
Dan Quayle
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"We've
got to pause
and ask
ourselves: How
much clean air
do we need?"
--Lee
Iacocca
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"The
word "genius"
isn't
applicable in
football. A
genius is a
guy like
Norman
Einstein."
--Joe
Theisman, NFL
football
quarterback
& sports
analyst.
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"We
don't
necessarily
discriminate.
We simply
exclude
certain types
of people."
--
Colonel Gerald
Wellman, ROTC
Instructor.
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"Your
food stamps
will be
stopped
effective
March 1992
because we
received
notice that
you passed
away. May God
bless you. You
may reapply if
there is a
change in your
circumstances."
--Department
of Social
Services,
Greenville ,
South Carolina
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"Traditionally,
most of
Australia 's
imports come
from
overseas."
--Keppel
Enderbery
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"If
somebody has a
bad heart,
they can plug
this jack in
at night as
they go to bed
and it will
monitor their
heart
throughout the
night. And the
next morning,
when they wake
up dead,
there'll be a
record."
--Mark
S. Fowler, FCC
Chairman
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Feeling
smarter yet?
Send
it on to
Your brilliant
friends.
I
just did !!
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