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Sometime this
year, we
taxpayers will
again receive
another
'Economic
Stimulus'
payment.
This is indeed a very
exciting
program, and
I'll explain
it by using a
Q & A
format:
Q. What is an
'Economic
Stimulus'
payment ?
A. It is money that the
federal
government
will send to
taxpayers.
Q.Where will
the government
get this money
?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the
government is
giving me back
my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the
purpose of
this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to
use the money
to purchase a ; high-definition TV set,
thus
stimulating
the economy.
Q. But isn't
that
stimulating
the economy of
China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some
helpful advice
on how to best
help the U.S.
Economy by
spending your
stimulus check
wisely:
* If you spend
the stimulus
money at
Wal-Mart, the
money will ; go to China or Sri Lanka .
* If you spend
it on
gasoline, your
money will go
to the Arabs.
* If you
purchase a
computer, it
will go to
India , Taiwan
or ; China ...
* If you
purchase fruit
and
vegetables, it
will go to
Mexico ,
Honduras and
Guatemala ...
* If you buy an efficient
car, it will
go to Japan or
Korea .
* If you purchase useless
stuff, it will
go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit
cards off, or
buy stock, it
will go ; to
management
bonuses and
they will hide
it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in
America by:
1) Spending it at yard
sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on
prostitutes,
or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos.
(These are the only
American
businesses
still
operating in
the U.S. )
Conclusion:
Go to a ball game with a
tattooed
prostitute
that you met
at a yard ; sale and drink beer all
day !
No need to
thank me, I'm
just glad I
could be of
help.
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