In all
your
travelling
experience
have you ever
heard of
anything like
this?
hilarious!!
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline
that doesn't
take itself
too seriously.
Check out
their new
livery!
And get a kick
out of the
comments at
the end of the
photos. Notice
the labeling
on the planes.
WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY -
WE SHOULD
SUPPORT THEM
IF ONLY FOR
THEIR HUMOUR:
On a Kulula
flight,
(there is no
assigned
seating, you
just sit where
you want)
passengers
were
apparently
having a hard
time choosing,
when a flight
attendant
announced,
"People,
people, we're
not picking
out furniture
here, find a
seat and get
in it!"
---o0o---
On another
flight
with a very
"senior"
flight
attendant
crew, the
pilot said,
"Ladies and
gentlemen,
we've reached
cruising
altitude and
will be
turning down
the cabin
lights. This
is for your
comfort and to
enhance the
appearance of
your flight
attendants."
----o0o---
On landing,
the stewardess
said,
"Please be
sure to take
all of your
belongings. If
you're going
to leave
anything,
please make
sure it's
something we'd
like to have."
----o0o---
"There
may be 50 ways
to leave your
lover, but
there are only
4 ways out of
this
airplane."
---o0o---
"Thank
you for flying
Kulula.
We hope you
enjoyed giving
us the
business as
much as we
enjoyed taking
you for a
ride."
---o0o---
As the plane
landed
and was coming
to a stop at
Durban
Airport, a
lone voice
came over the
loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big
fella. WHOA!"
---o0o--
After a
particularly
rough landing
during
thunderstorms
in the Karoo,
a flight
attendant on a
flight
announced,
"Please take
care when
opening the
overhead
compartments
because, after
a landing like
that, sure as
heck
everything has
shifted."
—o0o---
From a Kulula
employee:
"Welcome
aboard Kulula
271 to
Port
Elizabeth. To
operate your
seat belt,
insert the
metal tab into
the buckle,
and pull
tight. It
works just
like every
other seat
belt; and, if
you don't know
how to operate
one, you
probably
shouldn't be
out in public
unsupervised."
---o0o---
"In the
event of a
sudden loss
of cabin
pressure,
masks will
descend from
the ceiling.
Stop
screaming,
grab the mask,
and pull it
over your
face. If you
have a small
child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting
with theirs.
If you are
traveling with
more than one
small child,
pick your favourite."
—o0o---
"Weather
at our
destination
is 50 degrees
with some
broken clouds,
but we'll try
to have them
fixed before
we arrive.
Thank you, and
remember,
nobody loves
you, or your
money, more
than Kulula
Airlines."
——o0o---
"Your
seat cushions
can be used
for flotation;
and in the
event of an
emergency
water landing,
please paddle
to shore and
take them with
our
compliments."
—o0o---
"As you
exit the plane,
make sure to
gather all of
your
belongings.
Anything left
behind will be
distributed
evenly among
the flight
attendants.
Please do not
leave children
or spouses."
---o0o---
And from the
pilot
during his
welcome
message:
"Kulula
Airlines is
pleased to
announce that
we have some
of the best
flight
attendants in
the industry.
Unfortunately,
none of them
are on this
flight!"
---o0o—
Heard on
Kulula 255
just after a
very hard
landing in
Cape Town :
The flight
attendant came
on the
intercom and
said,
"That was
quite a bump
and I know
what y'all are
thinking. I'm
here to tell
you it wasn't
the airline's
fault, it
wasn't the
pilot's fault,
it wasn't the
flight
attendant's
fault, it was
the asphalt."
---o0o—
Overheard on a
Kulula flight
into Cape
Town, on a
particularly
windy and
bumpy day:
During the
final
approach, the
Captain really
had to fight
it. After an
extremely hard
landing, the
Flight
Attendant
said,
"Ladies and
Gentlemen,
welcome to The
Mother City.
Please remain
in your seats
with your seat
belts fastened
while the
Captain taxis
what's left of
our airplane
to the gate!"
---o0o—
Another flight
attendant's
comment
on a less than
perfect
landing: "We
ask you to
please remain
seated as
Captain
Kangaroo
bounces us to
the terminal."
---o0o—
An airline
pilot wrote
that on this
particular
flight he had
hammered his
ship into the
runway really
hard. The
airline had a
policy which
required the
first officer
to stand at
the door while
the passengers
exited, smile,
and give them
a "Thanks for
flying our
airline". He
said that, in
light of his
bad landing,
he had a hard
time looking
the passengers
in the eye,
thinking that
someone would
have a smart
comment.
Finally
everyone had
got off except
for a little
old lady
walking with a
cane. She
said, "Sir, do
you mind if I
ask you a
question?"
"Why, no
Ma'am," said
the pilot.
"What is it?"
The little old
lady said,
"Did we land,
or were we
shot down?"
---o0o—
This
communication is
confidential and
may be privileged.
If you received it
in error, please
destroy it without
copying and advise
the sender.
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