Who ever wrote
this could have written for Johnny Carson
As you know, my
dear people, for the last year the Royal House of Clinton has
been tormented by questions about our handling of finances and
subjected to tiresome questions about the tragic events in
Benghazi -- in the furthest regions of our empire. And,
sadly, also questions about my Royal e-mails.
Nevertheless, I
will not be daunted in my desire and commitment to serve you,
the people. For the five months I will be traveling among you
as one of you, to listen to your deepest longings and needs.
I will be with you in your Wal-Marts and beside you in your
Burger Kings. I will drive with you down the busy interstate
highways of our land, sharing your poverty and needs.
How well I
remember the days when the Duke of Arkansas and I were
impoverished. After we were expelled from our Washington
Palace we hardly had two mansions to rub together. We were so
poor that we removed thousands of dollars of china, flatware,
carpets and gifts from the Washington Palace just to survive.
Shockingly, unscrupulous and ungrateful officials later forced
us to return many of these treasures. Now, happily,
benefactors from around our empire and beyond have given me
just enough for us to scrape by.
During these difficult times, we had to cut back. When
our daughter was married, we only had three million dollars to
spend on her wedding. And, I remember our hopes, as she moved
into her $10 million Manhattan apartment, that one day she
would be able to move on from that humble and shabby abode to
something more fitting. After working for MSNBC for a
starting salary of a mere and insulting $600,000 per year,
what else could she do? So I now pay her $3,000,000 a year
plus incidentals to run the 'Foundation'. Hard times do happen
in the Kingdom of Clinton but we must carry on.
So, as I travel
across the (our) kingdom to meet you all, I will be listening,
sharing and committing to things you want. Then, when the
time for the royal election (Coronation) comes, I know I can
count on you to crown me and Jester Sir William (I know him as
slick Willie) as your rightful monarchs, with my assurance
that I will continue King Obama's policies, and we can all
live happily ever after.
Your
Queen-in-Waiting and Deserving,
Hilarity Rotten
Clinton - The Princess of Wailing of York (as in New York)
fly-web.us)