GETTING OLDER
A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.
"Is it true," she wanted to
know,
"that the medication
you prescribed has to be
taken
for the rest of my life?"
"'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the
doctor told her.
There was a moment of
silence
before the senior lady
replied,
"I'm wondering, then,
just how serious is my
condition
because this prescription
is marked
'NO REFILLS'.."
***********************
An older gentleman was
on the operating table
awaiting surgery
and he insisted that his
son,
a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the
anesthesia,
he asked to speak to his
son.
"Yes, Dad , what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, son;
do your best,
and just remember,
if it doesn't go well,
if something happens to me,
your mother
is going to come and
live with you and your
wife...."
(I
LOVE IT!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aging:
Eventually you will reach
a point
when you stop lying about your age
and start bragging about
it. This is so true.
I
love to
hear them say
"you
don't look
that old."
---------------------------------
The
older we get,
the fewer
things
seem
worth waiting
in line for.
(Mostly
because we
forgot why we
were waiting
in line in the
first place!!)
---------------------------------
Some
people
try to turn
back their
odometers.
Not
me!
I
want people to
know why
I
look this way.
I've
traveled a
long way
and
some of the
roads weren't
paved.
********************
When
you are
dissatisfied
and
would like to
go back to
youth,
think
of Algebra.
-------------------------------
One
of the many
things
no one tells
you about
aging
is
that it is
such a nice
change
from
being young.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Ah,
being young is
beautiful,
but
being old is
comfortable.
*********
First
you forget
names,
then
you forget
faces.
Then
you forget to
pull up your
zipper...
it's
worse when
you
forget to pull
it down.
````````````````
Two
guys, one old,
one young,
are
pushing their
carts around Wal-Mart
when
they collide.
The
old guy says
to the young
guy,
"Sorry
about that.
I'm looking
for my wife,
and
I guess I
wasn't paying
attention
to
where I was
going."
The
young guy
says, "That's
OK, it's a
coincidence.
I'm
looking for my
wife, too...
I
can't find her
and I'm
getting a
little
desperate."
The
old guy says,
"Well,
maybe I can
help you find
her...
what
does she look
like?"
The
young guy
says,
"Well, she is
27 yrs. old,
tall,
with
red hair,
blue
eyes, is
buxom...wearing
no bra,
long
legs,
and
is wearing
short shorts.
What
does your wife
look like?'
To
which the old
guy says,
“Doesn’t
matter,
---
let's look for
yours."
(ADORABLE)
*********************
(And
this final one
especially for
me,)
"Lord,
keep Your arm
around my
shoulder
and
Your hand over
my mouth!"
Now,
if you feel
this doesn't
apply to you .
. . stick
around awhile
. . . it will!
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