1· I
used to eat a
lot of natural
foods until I
learned that
most
people die of
natural
causes.
2· There
are two kinds
of
pedestrians:
the quick
and
the dead.
3· Life
is sexually
transmitted.
4· Healthy
is merely the
slowest
possible rate
at which one can die.
5· The
only
difference
between a rut
and a grave
is
the depth.
6· Health
nuts are going
to feel stupid
someday,
lying
in hospitals
dying of
nothing.
7· Have
you noticed
since everyone
has a
camcorder
these
days no one
talks about
seeing UFOs
like they used
to?
8· Whenever
I feel blue, I
start
breathing
again.
9· All
of us could
take a lesson
from the
weather. It
pays no attention to criticism.
10· In
the 60's,
people took
acid to make
the world
weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
to make it
normal..
11· How
is it one
careless match
can start a
forest fire,
but
it takes a
whole box to
start a
campfire?
12· Who
was the first
person to look
at a cow and
say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes
out?'
13· If
Jimmy cracks
corn and no
one cares, why
is there
a
song about
him?
14· Why
does your
OB-GYN leave
the room when
you get undressed if they are going to look up
there anyway?
15· If
quizzes are
quizzical,
what are
tests?
16· If
corn oil is
made from
corn, and
vegetable oil
is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil
made from?
17· Do
illiterate
people get the
full effect of
Alphabet Soup?
18· Does
pushing the
elevator
button more
than once make it arrive faster?
19· Why
doesn't glue
stick to the
inside of the
bottle?
20· Do
you ever
wonder why you
gave me your
email address?
fly-web.us)
